No one ever said church planting was easy… in fact, there were many who thought we were crazy when we told them that’s exactly what we were going to do.
That’s what happens when God gives you a burden…
something you can’t shake…
and you can’t walk away…
can’t live another moment being just like everyone else…
because the blinders have been removed…
and you’ve seen a glimpse of what God sees…
and feel how His heart breaks…
and you will never be the same…
and normal will NEVER be good enough…
EVER.
We didn’t CHOOSE to plant a church.
God chose us…
but we still had a choice…
a decision to make on what path to take…
and we humbly said, “yes God.”
But time moves differently when planting a church… almost as if twice the speed of “normal”… and I’ve found that without realizing it, I’ve missed things… the little things…
and while time has changed… there’s more… something else is different…
And then, just another normal day in December, a package in the mail addressed to me… FROM me.
Curious… not my handwriting.
The package reveals two wrapped gifts… but no card to reveal the giver…
The first gift; a book, but not just any book… “One Thousand Gifts” written by a dear blogger friend, Ann VosKamp that I’ve been desiring since it became available to pre-order. Tears of joy, and gratitude, and thankfulness, and love…
The second gift; a mug, but not just any mug… one picked with intentional thoughtfulness…dandelion seeds, like the name of my blog. They catch my eye first, but then, I read, “Peace, be still. -Jesus.”
How did the secret giver know? Was this as intentional as the dandelion seeds, or perhaps, a simple gift from God… reminding me to find peace in being still? More tears…
How long had it been since I’d found peace in just being still?
Too long, My daughter…
How long had it been since I’d been still?
Your list of things to do has robbed you from what I’ve been trying to give…
How long had it been since I’ve had that kind of peace again?
Give Me your burdens and let me replace them with joy…
Planting a church IS hard work… but that’s not what has robbed me of my joy. I allowed myself to become distracted by the list of things to do… volunteers to recruit… graphics to be made… series to be planned… other peoples’ kids to be entertained… programs to be printed… coffee to be brewed…
My passion is still there… no matter how difficult it’s been to plant this church, watching lives change… seeing people walk through the doors to “something different”… coming back for a second and third and fourth time… people surrendering their lives to Jesus… getting to preach/teach with my Beloved… the loud music (yes, I said loud)… exposing people to Jesus in a way THEY can grasp, no matter where they’re at… and exciting them to move a step closer to Jesus.
None of that ever gets old… but, there’s more to it. There has to be…
I don’t want people to just KNOW about Jesus… I want them to FEEL Him…
I want you to be a tool to SHOW them how to EXPERIENCE Him in a world that’s lost hope… to find peace in being still in a world moving faster to keep up.
How can I do that when I’ve quit seeking peace in just… being… still?
You cannot give what you do not have… you must empty yourself in order to be filled…
And, so begins MY journey to an emptier, fuller life… to intentionally record 1000 gifts, in order to become a life that slooooooooooows down long enough to hear God speak through each gift. To record the moments… the days… the weeks… and the months for a year. A search to see joy, and beauty, and peace in the midst of the busyness, difficulties, struggles, trials, pain, and choas of life… and be truly thankful.
